


The Tale of the Inverted Penis

by kenpile



Category: Monty Python RPF
Genre: Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, ass eating, casual banter between two penis-having lads, penis degradation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 11:06:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7046929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenpile/pseuds/kenpile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Eric's curiosity about John's lack of crotch-bulge gets the best of him, he finds himself competing for the championship title for being the holder of the "Bigger Dick".</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Tale of the Inverted Penis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my mother](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+mother).



“What size shoe do you wear, Johnny boy?”

Eric and John were lounging about in the garden. It was a lazy spring afternoon. The sun was out but they were in the cool shade of a tree, sprawled out in lawn chairs.

“I don’t know.. Probably around a 12? Why are you asking, you fucking rat?”

“Just curious.. Ya know Johnny, I-”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Fine. But you know, John, I hear rumor that the bigger your shoes are, the bigger your dick is bound to be. And for some reason, I feel like you’ve got a tiny prick.” Eric rolled from his back onto his side, getting a good look at John. From head to toe, he was the longest man he had ever met. He loved the long, lanky arms that were crossed over his beefed up chest. He loved the long, thin legs that were bent at a forty-five degree angle (Eric had eyes like a protractor). He was focused on one part of John at the time, though: his crotch. Never in the two years they had been working professionally together had Eric ever spotted even a hint of a bulge in his pal’s pants. It was truly puzzling.

Jack turned his head to glare at him, feeling more than a little ticked off at what was just said to him! “I can almost promise you that I’ve got a bigger weiner than you.. Almost..” He wasn’t entirely confident that he could, honestly. I mean, what are the chances that Eric could have a bigger dick than him? He couldn’t possibly have more than 2 inches, Jack thought. Then he’d be bigger than me !

“John.. is this a challenge? Are you wanting me to whip out my whopping PENIS? Lay it out on a table for you to look at?”

“Erm.. Uh..” John’s face was starting to go pink. He wanted to see Eric’s PENIS. He NEEDED to see it. He didn’t want him to know that, though, so, thinking fast on his feet, he came up with a mediocre plan. He would act like he’s joking. He swallowed, composing himself. “Yes! Set it out on the table for my evaluation.”

Eric stood up and closed the gap between them. He raised his hands to his fly and then he froze. “You’ve got to match me move for move, man. This is a competition after all.”

Shit. “Right.” John stood up, facing him. There was 12 inches between them (Which means that Eric’s WANG would have to be 10in long for them to dock, since John’s COCK is only 2 inches when erect, so.. Don’t get your hopes up). “Okay.. We whip ‘em out on the count of three.”  
“Agreed.”

“Alright.. One..”

Zzzziiippp!

“Two…”

Zzzzipp!

“Three!”

“...Holy shit, John! LOL XD !!”

Only John whipped his out. Eric had fooled him ! John blushed redder than a cherry tomato (his favorite...) and quickly covered up with his hands.

“Gotcha!” Eric was ROFLing so hard.

(I guess I should explain. I mentioned earlier that John has a two inch willy when erect.. When flaccid he’s got maybe half an inch. At the most. This shocked Eric, because he had never known a dick to be so tiny. Jack's wiener was inverted.)

“That.. that was really not cool, Eric.” John was hurt. He wanted to see Eric’s tiny dick! It HAD to be tinier than his own! “I need to prove to you that my dick is bigger, remember?”

“Oh, believe me, it is not bigger than mine. Not by a long shot!” Eric had tears in his eyes from laughing so hard. Suddenly John’s hands were clasping his shoulders, and his face was very close to his own. The redness in his cheeks brought out the green of his hazel eyes so beautifully. He was pleading silently with Eric to show him his DICK. Eric melted a bit at the sincerity of his friend’s eyes. 

“Alright, so you want to see my dick?” Jack nodded (too eagerly if you ask me). “I’ll tell you what. Kiss me first, and I’ll let you do much more than look at it ;;;---)))”

It didn’t take John long to make their lips touch, and it didn’t take much longer for Eric to let him totally in, their tongues licking each other (freaky xD) and honestly there was just spit everywhere. Eric loved the feeling of John’s hairy upper lip against the stubble of his own.

Jack’s eager hands had travelled from Eric’s shoulders to his back, and then to the front of his pants. He was ready to see the dicc xD.

“John.. Alright I’ll show it to you..” Eric’s hands met John’s, leading him to his zipper, undoing his button, and then he let John pull it out for him.

John had never felt anything like this? It was something he could actually grab onto.. It was long enough for that kind of handling. Was this really a dick? It was nothing like his own. He took hold of it and drew it out of Eric’s pants.

“Eric, I… You have the biggest penis I’ve ever seen on a man.. In fact, yours is the first penis I’ve ever seen besides my own.. And I’ve just decided I want your cock inside me. Right here, right now.”

“Ew ur nasty no offense xD. But I’ll tell you what I want.. I want your hairy mustache… In my asscrack, Jack. I want you to eat my butthole out!”

Jack just smiled. One might even say he xD’d. He had always wondered what anus tasted like, but he was never flexible enough to find out for himself. Eric was giving him a golden opportunity. He quickly grabbed Eric and picked him up, carrying him over to his lawnchair. He stripped Eric’s pants completely off, and he abruptly stuck his face up to Eric’s ass cheeks.

“Come on, Jack. Tickle my ass with your mustache!”

So he did just that. And he loved it.

The end.


End file.
